God worried sending heatwave to ruin Donald Trump’s Independence Day celebrations still ‘too subtle’

God has admitted concerns that sending a record-breaking heatwave to spoil Donald Trump’s Independence Day celebrations may still be “a little too nuanced” for right-wing Americans to understand.

The Almighty had hoped that bringing sweltering temperatures across much of the eastern United States, forcing the cancellation of parades organised by Trump, and leaving millions seeking shelter indoors, would serve as a fairly obvious hint that He was less than thrilled with the current occupant of the White House.

Instead, Trump described the weather as “the hottest, most patriotic heat anyone has ever seen”, before insisting crowds had turned out in record numbers despite several events being abandoned for public safety.

“I honestly don’t know what else I can do,” sighed God.

“I gave Egypt frogs, locusts and rivers of blood. This time I shut down your Independence Day celebrations with a dangerous heatwave. If people still aren’t getting the message, perhaps subtlety really is my problem?”

Heavenly sources confirmed God had briefly considered writing “DON’T VOTE FOR HIM” across the sky in flaming letters, but rejected the idea after concluding it would immediately be dismissed as either fake news, artificial intelligence or the work of George Soros.

Meanwhile, angels tasked with monitoring social media reported that many users had concluded the heatwave was actually proof God approved of Trump’s presidency, because “America has never been hotter”.

“I don’t want to sound arrogant,” continued God, “but historically speaking, when I start making the weather behave strangely it’s usually because I’m trying to tell humanity something. It is genuinely remarkable how many of you now see an act of divine intervention and immediately ask whether it can be blamed on Joe Biden.”

At press time, God was reportedly weighing up whether a plague of frogs carrying fact-checks might finally get the point across.

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