Priest having second thoughts about letting Trump give Robert Mueller’s eulogy
by Nathan Cowley 8 months ago 
The priest overseeing Robert Mueller’s funeral is apparently having second thoughts about letting Donald Trump give the eulogy, it has been revealed.
After hearing about the passing of Robert Mueller, who led the investigation into Russia’s alleged interference in the 2016 US presidential election, Donald Trump honoured the former FBI director by saying “I’m glad he’s dead”, leading to a shake-up in the funeral’s line-up.
“We might have to rethink that one,” said Reverend Simon Williams.
“I just assumed they were close. Whenever you see the name Robert Mueller pop up, you inevitably see the name Donald Trump as well. In hindsight, I probably should’ve paid closer attention to the news at the time. That’s on me.
“It’s just lucky I pre-screen every funeral eulogy before the person gets up there and delivers it.
“I don’t want to reveal too much about Trump’s speech, but I saw the words ‘nasty guy’ and ‘dog’ quite a few times. I think you can probably guess the context.
“Also, I think three and a half hours is a tad long for a eulogy. I knew as soon as White House staff dropped that 600-page manuscript into my lap that we might need a plan B.
“Anyway, it’s probably for the best. Trump might’ve burst into flames if he stepped into a church.”
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