Prince Andrew and Fergie to rehabilitate their public image as new hosts of Strictly Come Dancing

In what’s being described as ‘the most unwelcome comeback since Measles’, the BBC has confirmed that Prince Andrew and his ex-wife Sarah Ferguson will replace Claudia Winkleman and Tess Daly as the new hosts of Strictly Come Dancing.

According to BBC insiders, the decision was made after producers realised they’d simply run out of ‘untainted’ celebrities.

As one executive explained. “With Gregg Wallace, John Torode and Huw Edwards all out of the picture, we were worried we might end up with Piers Morgan and a cardboard cut-out of Bruce Forsyth.

“But then someone said, ‘What about Prince Andrew? He’s got dancing experience – after all he’s been dancing around questions for years.’ And we do want someone who will bring scandal, sparkle, and a touch of denial to Saturday nights.

“Andrew ticks all the boxes, and he won’t sweat under the studio lights. He probably needs the money as well, as I understand his landlord is threatening to evict him because he hasn’t paid any rent for the last 20 years.”

The pair are expected to bring ‘a royal touch’ to proceedings, with Andrew reportedly eyeing the gig as a chance to earn a new title, such as ‘The Duke of Dance’ or ‘Prince of the Paso Doble’.

Fergie, meanwhile, is said to be thrilled at the opportunity to spend Saturday nights under bright lights rather than under the radar. In an early promotional clip, the pair are seen waltzing through Windsor Great Park, announcing, “We may have lost our titles, but we haven’t lost our glitterballs!”

Public reaction has been mixed. One viewer tweeted, “I can’t believe if, if Andrew can’t remember having sex three times with Virginia Giuffre, how is he going to remember the names of all the contestants and the judges!?”