Party where politician was convicted of taking Russian bribes now accepting untraceable crypto donations

In a bold step to prevent any future accusations of taking Russian bribes, Reform UK has announced it will now accept political donations exclusively in untraceable cryptocurrency.

The innovative move will ensure that nobody, not even Interpol, can ever prove where their ‘donations’ came from ever again.

The acceptance of crypto donations follows the conviction last month of former Reform Wales leader Nathan Gill, who was found guilty of accepting huge amounts of cash from Russian “businessmen” with suspiciously close ties to the Kremlin, or as Reform describes them, “enthusiastic donors with a shared interest in traditional British values.”

Party leader Nigel Farage hailed the new crypto-friendly policy as “a forward-looking, transparency-proof system that definitely future-proofs our reputation against accusations we’re nothing more than the political plaything of meddling foreigners.”

Farage went on, “Nathan has helped Reform learn a valuable lesson. If you’re going to take money that might one day coincidentally turn out to be from Moscow, make sure it’s stored in a decentralised blockchain where even God himself couldn’t follow it.”

Reform’s treasurer confirmed the party will now accept Bitcoin, Ethereum, and “any of the sexy new ones the Russians like to use.”

Donors are assured full anonymity, though one early transaction for 10,000 Dogecoins did include the reference “From Vlad – Keep Up The Good Work,” which has reportedly been marked as “probably a joke.”

Critics have described the change as “a new low for political transparency,” but Reform insists it’s simply bringing British politics in line with “the 21st-century money-laundering scene.”

Farage later added, “Let the other parties worry about scrutiny and accountability. We’re focused on innovation, and on making sure none of our representatives get caught taking bribes again.”

At press time, Reform’s digital wallet had already received several large donations, all coincidentally timestamped for 3 a.m. Moscow time.

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