Scientists reclassify the shortest measurable unit of time as that which occurs between Tommy Robinson criminal charges and the launch of his fundraising page

The world of physics is in shock after scientists announced the reclassification of the shortest measurable unit of time after Tommy Robinson was charged with harassment causing fear of violence.

Previously, the attosecond held the prestigious title of shortest measurable unit of time, but it has now been dethroned by a new metric: the infinitesimal interval between Tommy Robinson being charged with yet another crime, and the launch of his latest fundraising page to ‘fight the system’.

The revelation came to light following the announcement of Robinson’s latest charges, which came while he is still serving time in prison for his previous crime.

However, what truly astounded observers was the speed with which Robinson pivoted from “Oh no, I’m being charged with yet another crime!” to “Please send me your money so I can fight the system that is oppressing me!”

“It was remarkable,” said Dr Simon Williams, lead scientist on the project.

“One moment, it was being announced that Robinson was facing new criminal charges, and in less than the blink of an eye, a slickly designed fundraising page was live, complete with heart-wrenching testimonials and a variety of donation options.

“We had to recalibrate our instruments to even get close to measuring the time between these two linked events.”

Robinson, who has an Irish passport and has built a career by railing against law-breaking immigrants, seemed unfazed by the irony of his situation. Instead, he doubled down, claiming his arrest was part of a grand conspiracy against his tireless work to protect nations from precisely the sort of person he has now become.

The fundraising page, titled “Tommy’s Latest Legal Defense Fund,” quickly amassed donations, proving that no legal trouble is too small to profit from.

Robinson’s loyal supporters, clearly untroubled by the glaring contradiction of him being against criminal foreigners while being the law-breaking owner of a foreign passport, opened their wallets with lightning speed, ensuring their hero could continue his battle against, well, people like him.

In the wake of this discovery, scientists are now contemplating further studies into the “Robinson Interval” and its potential applications in fields ranging from quantum physics to digital marketing and sports timing.

Meanwhile, Robinson remains defiant, already planning his next venture: a seminar on rapid response fundraising techniques.

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