UK basking in slightly above room temperature weather

Everybody in the UK is slapping on the sun cream today after it was revealed the country would be treated to slightly above room temperature weather this week.

Meteorologists say today is likely to be the hottest start to May on record, with everybody already losing their shit about the minuscule increase to the temperature.

“Christ, it’s like a sauna out here,” said topless sunbather Simon Williams.

“I’ve just checked my weather app and it says my area could reach 21 degrees today. I thought this was Birmingham, not the bloody Philippines.

“Honestly, you could fry an egg on the pavement it’s that hot. Well, maybe if it was about 15 degrees warmer you could. But at the very least it’s hot enough to toast a piece of bread. Well, okay, not toast it. The bread would definitely be slightly warm, though. It would certainly dry out faster than normal for this time of year.

“In Spain they still wear their coats and scarves when it’s 21 degrees. The last time I was in Barcelona everyone was staring at my Speedos walking down La Rambla. It’s crazy how different cultures adapt to such scorching heats.

“I must say, the weather took me by surprise this morning. I had to nip down to Boots to get some factor 50. I’ll probably look like a beetroot by the end of the day if I’m not careful.”