“It could have been acid fired from a drone!” Farage supporters react angrily after he’s hit by seagull droppings

author avatar by 2 weeks ago

Nigel Farage supporters have reacted with their usual levels of calm level-headedness after Farage was hit by a rogue pigeon poo.

The Reform UK leader and Clacton candidate was walking the streets of Clacton-on-Sea when he was struck by what witnesses have described as ‘a colossal bird shit’.

“It could have been acid!” screamed Farage supporter Derek Matthews.

“Who knows what goes through the mind of these deranged birds, or maybe it was a drone? Yes, bird poo might be harmless enough, and quite funny when you realise no one was even remotely hurt, but they COULD have been – that’s the important part.

“Everyone should focus on the worst possible outcome in any situation, because otherwise my positions will start to look like the frightened ramblings of a perpetually-frightened imbecile.

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“So yes, this bird poo could have been acid, in much the same way that Muslim over there could be a terrorist, the same way the latest small boat could be full of rapists, or the same way that the teenager over there might be about to stab me.

“And don’t tell me we should only start getting worrying about things grounded in, because without everyone being frightened of all the things we’ve been told to be scared of, then Reform UK wouldn’t have any supporters at all!”

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