How to be suitably enraged by trans issues – an idiot’s eight-point guide to joining the front lines of the culture war

author avatar by 1 month ago

Are you desperate to join the front lines of the culture war, but struggle to know what you should be angry about, and for what reason? Or are you irrationally angry at some things but need a better way to articulate your reasoning to the woke brigade who are obviously to blame? Then this guide is for you.

The culture war is being fought on every street during this election campaign, and nowhere is it clearer than in the fight for trans rights. The Wokeista mob are trying desperately to, well, let trans people exist, and that simply will not stand!

This is your opportunity to join the front lines of the culture war, and dive in. You can show everyone you mean business and that the culture war infantry is chock-full of competent soldiers, making well-thought-out arguments for their position, and finding a way to win with reason and facts.

Or, if that’s too difficult, you can simply follow our guide below instead, and still become a hero to culture warriors everywhere:

  1. Lie about why trans people exist. It’s all a plot to seduce the nation’s children, right? No? Well, it COULD be, and that’s enough for you, right? Who cares, lie loudly enough and plenty of people will believe you. The truth is NOT your friend in the culture war.
  2. Take offence at all the imaginary people who’ve taken offence at your offence. Claim that trans people only exist because of all the angry woke snowflakes demanding the right to dress up as women. In the culture wars it’s always better to take a position against a hallucinated enemy that you don’t actually name, because they can’t fight back.
  3. Pretend it affects you personally in any way whatsoever. Someone will ask “why do you care about this, no one is forcing you to be trans? It doesn’t affect you at all” – so be prepared to claim that changes like this filter through society and make everyone’s life worse, including yours. Where does this end? With every man in a dress and a wig, wearing ridiculously well-done make-up? This country is going to the dogs. Yes it is, shut up.
  4. Lie again about why trans people exist. We can’t emphasise this enough. If the lies you are telling are not getting the traction you need, link them to paedos.
  5. Draw an extremely tenuous line between trans people and ALL of society’s ills, as you perceive them. You can link any culture war issue to any OTHER culture war issue, if you try hard enough. Be creative. Trans people are very easy to link to migrant boats, for example. See our next point below.
  6. Criticise trans people for using fake names, which is precisely how many illegal immigrants get work here in the UK. Is their love of fake ID a coincidence? I think not. Did you know one of these immigrants committed a murder recently? Well, they did. It was in the news. This country has gone to the dogs. See how easy that was?
  7. Be prepared to move on quickly. When the time comes that all of your positions have been shown to be false, or based on fake news, or rooted in a bigoted misconception, move on to the next culture war battle while claiming victory.
  8. Repeat ad-infinitum.
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