No, not that one, insist flag-shaggers

author avatar by 2 weeks ago

For some unfathomable reason, the legion of highly vocal flag aficionados, who have spent the last few months telling everyone that such symbols should be venerated and never mocked, have gone quiet all of a sudden.

Simon Williams, a diabetic Youtuber who used to claim there was nothing pathetic about wall-to-wall Union Jacks in politicians’ homes, has suddenly decided that using flags to demonstrate pride in the group to which you belong has no place in modern Britain.

He explained, “It’s just divisive, isn’t it? Why are people so keen to highlight that they are part of a group? And why do they have to be so vocal about it? It just comes across as insecure and childishly confrontational.

“And, despite the claims of innocence of the flag fans, people know full well how political circumstances can make some flags seem triumphalist and even a bit spiteful.”

Mr Wiliams also explained that emotionally defensive lectures about the importance of having a flag were unlikely to sway opinions.

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“Imagine someone makes an innocuous joke about a flag, and what you get in return is a barrage of misspelt rants accusing you of wanting to destroy decent society and making melodramatic references to the sacrifice of those who came before you. Frankly, there’s something a bit tragic about the emotional investment people put in a piece of cloth.

“But if you’re talking about statues, that’s a different kettle of fish! I will die before letting the wokerati erase the history of my brave forefathers who died so that I could paint a George Flag on my chest and yell threats at police officers.”

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