Recently-sacked Suella Braverman has been vindicated after a government inquiry showed that the Metropolitan Police showed “widespread and entrenched antipathy” towards patriots who try to jab broken bottles into their faces after a few breakfast beers.
Several whistleblowers have come forward during the inquiry and confirmed that there was a culture of hatred towards anyone that sent a police officer to hospital with critical injuries. As confirmed by Simon Williams, a retired detective constable from the Met’s elite vice squad.
He went on, “It’s so pervasive it becomes impossible not to be affected by it. Canteen gossip is obsessed with PCs being glassed or being burned by lit signal flares. And the language used towards the people who assault us is outright hateful.
“The worst thing is the glorification of coppers who use violence against rampaging hooligans. I’ve seen with my own eyes a WPC wade in with her baton and strike dozens of Stone Island wearers who were doing nothing more than stomping on a paramedic for wearing a turban. Far from being reprimanded, she was celebrated and applauded in the nick.
“I’ve seen dogs, horses and tear gas being used on people who came to London to bravely protect our monuments from the Taliban and sniff cocaine off a Wetherspoons urinal. I’ve seen desk sergeants add charges on prisoners who accidentally spat on them. And all the while the brass looked on!”
A spokesperson for the Metropolitan Police said that the force accepted the findings of the inquiry and undertook to change its attitudes towards 50-year-old illiterate old men who brawl in pub car parks.
However, they strongly denied that the Met gave preferential treatment towards minorities.
“Our record on dealing with brown people speaks for itself.”