Nation’s strictest headmistress demands everyone be as miserable as her this Christmas

author avatar by 4 weeks ago

Katharine Birbalsingh, the headmistress of Michaela Community School, has taken it upon herself to begin a one-woman mission ruin Christmas for everyone.

Birbalsingh recently penned a letter to Marks and Spencer, expressing her outrage over their heartwarming Christmas advert that encourages people to enjoy the holiday season in their own way and not feel pressured into activities they don’t enjoy.

In the letter, which some are suggesting is a piece of viral marketing for a potential “Scrooge Reboot”, Birbalsingh passionately argues that people should be forced to do things they hate during the holidays because it’s supposedly “character building.”

She even suggests that the best way to celebrate Christmas is by making everyone as miserable as she is.

“It’s a travesty that Marks and Spencer is promoting such a harmful message of happiness and self-expression during Christmas,” Birbalsingh declared in her letter.

“We should all be subjected to mandatory caroling, fruitcake consumption, and hours of awkward small talk with distant relatives we don’t even like. It builds resilience!”

While Birbalsingh’s letter has left many scratching their heads, there are whispers in the education community that this may indeed be a clever marketing ploy for a Scrooge series reboot, with Birbalsingh cast as the lead character. Some are speculating that in the reboot, instead of a cold-hearted businessman, Scrooge runs an uber-strict school for children who aren’t allowed to have fun.

It’s rumoured that the Hollywood reboot will revolve around her mission to make the entire world as joyless as she is during the holiday season.

While many on social media have questioned Birbalsingh’s bizarre demands, some have suggested that she needs a visit from ghosts of Christmas past, present and future, but there is concern that she would shoo them away, believing them to be Ofsted inspectors.

As the nation collectively scratches its head over her Grinch-like behaviour, Birbalsingh has been told that if she genuinely wants to make everyone else’s lives more miserable, she should give up teaching and become a Tory MP.

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