It’s unfair to blame leaving the EU on Brexit, insists Suella Braverman

author avatar by 1 year ago

The Home Secretary has used an interview with Laura Kuenssberg to affirm that the act of leaving the EU, and its predictable consequences, had nothing to do with Brexit, the quasi-mystical act of reactionary wish fulfilment of which she is one of the high priestesses.

She argued, “It’s unfair to blame the loss of EU citizenship, and the free movement to France that came with it, on the 2016 referendum about Were Things Better Before.

“I was on the leave campaign, and not once did we mention EU membership or its advantages. We talked about banana curvatures, magical cash for the NHS, Singapore on Thames, hordes of Turks coming over and everyone in Brussels being a Nazi. And before you ask, no, I don’t see the irony.

“How much longer do we have to explain to Remoaners that Brexit was not a plan or even a policy. It’s an act of faith. A declaration that you don’t like your life and, therefore, by God, neither should anyone else.

“It was a way to say you wanted some things to just go away. Poles on the bus, metric prices, your grandchildren being too clever by half, accurate history books, dog shit that never turns white or the mirror reminding you that you are getting old and have accomplished nothing meaningful. That was what Brexit was against, not trade blocs.”

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While condemning the Home Secretary’s statements, Labour said they were now the custodians of the holy B-word, as explained by Shadow Home Secretary Lisa Nandy.

She went on, “Labour has seized the eternal flame of sacred Brexit and will wield it for the good of the nation. Corrupt Tories, turds in rivers or high gas prices. Whatever your problem, Keir Starmer will Brexit them all away!”

See the full Brexit-mocking range here!

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