Cadbury to release gravy-filled Creme Egg in the North

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The chocolatier Cadbury has announced they are releasing a limited-edition gravy-filled Creme Egg that will only be available in the northern parts of England.

Speaking at the product’s launch, Samantha Chorley, a Cadbury’s representative, said, “We’re thrilled to introduce this latest addition to our range.

“We asked you, the proud people of the North, what you wanted from your egg-related confectionary, and when you spoke, we listened.

“We also asked a group of leading medical experts whether it’s advisable to fill an entire chocolate egg with gravy; but when they spoke, we chose not to listen.

“And so, behold our delicious gravy egg.”

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Ms Chorley then bit into one of the brown ovals. A small rivulet of gravy began to trickle from her mouth as she chewed, before she vomited into an adjacent potted fern.

“I forgot to mention; I’m from Reading – I don’t really have the constitution for this.”

There were widespread parades across much of Northern England celebrating the news. Speaking at one of these impromptu street parties, Barnsley resident Ian Burdock said, “If there’s one thing we Northerners love more than being the victim of broad-brush stereotyping in a light-hearted piece of web satire, it’s t’gravy!

“It’s brilliant, all they need to do now is release a Curly Wurly full of sausage meat, and I’ll be in heaven!”

A nutritionist has described the egg as being “one of the most damaging things to happen to the lives of Northerners since Margaret Thatcher.”

The gravy-filled Creme Egg will be available from all irresponsible newsagents Northern-wide.

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