“I will lead with integrity, professionalism and accountability” insists man demonstrating absolutely none of these

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A man who insisted he would lead the country with integrity, professionalism and accountability is now leading the country with literally none of the above, it has been revealed today. 

Rishi Sunak, who claimed he would be a ‘better Prime Minister’, confirmed this week with his behaviour, and complete lack of integrity, professionalism and accountability, that he is not in fact any better than Boris Johnson. 

Speaking earlier he confirmed, “I can’t believe everyone fell for it to be honest.

“Obviously I won’t be leading with integrity, that’s an absolute given. I just said that because it sounded good in my speech. 

“Or indeed professionalism and accountability, because that just causes hassle and means that I have to be really mean to my corrupt rich friends and sack them and when they do all the dodgy stuff I know they are going to do. 

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“Instead, I’m just going to rack up some more Fixed Penalty Notices and completely ignore my senior MP’s questionable tax affairs.”

Asked if there will be any accountability for recent actions within his party he told us, “I don’t know. It’s nothing to do with me.”