Popular ursine actor Paddington has checked into an exclusive rehab clinic today, claiming that method acting ‘backfired badly’ during the filming of Cocaine Bear.
Paddington, who has built a successful career on the back of a cuddly, family-friendly image, was trying to extend his range by playing a bear driven insane by 15kg of nose candy – only for the experiment to go badly wrong.
The film is loosely based on the true story of an American Black Bear who consumed cocaine and went on a rampage in 1985, and Paddington was hoping to use the lead role to make the jump to more dramatic films.
“At first it was just a bit of bump first thing in the morning on set to help him find the character,” said confidante Judy Brown.
“But before long he was muzzle-down in a heap of snow snorting the stuff up.
“Have you seen how big a bear’s nose is? The bear in the film only took 15kg of the stuff, but Paddington was like a Henry Hoover with the boost button stuck on.”
Paddington joins a line of celebrities who have sought help for addiction, including Sooty for a serious painkiller problem initially caused by an unfortunate incident with Matthew Corbett’s hand getting stuck, Mister Toad who took a lot of speed in more ways than one, and Basil Brush who was off television for over a decade recovering from sex addiction.