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A man is feeling extremely Christmassy today, and having the time of his life, stood in the freezing cold after spending most of his wages on a drink and a bratwurst at the outdoor Christmas markets.
Simon Williams, who absolutely loves the markets, because he enjoys being cold and feeling ripped off, insisted he was having a “good time”, after buying a small mug of warm wine and a sausage for a fortune so he could stand in the cold with his friends.
Speaking earlier he told us, “This is brilliant. And it’s only cost me most of my December wages up to now.
“And I haven’t even been to the other stalls yet, where I can buy lots of amazing Christmas things like bath bombs, and cheese, and pic’n’mix at prices that would even make the cinema think twice.
“It just makes you feel all Christmassy, buying a tiny tray of food for about a tenner, and then standing in the freezing cold eating it as your fingers go numb and they struggle to hold your drink, which also cost a fortune.
“I decided to go with a bratwurst today, because nothing says Christmas more than a large German sausage sticking out of a tiny bread roll.”
Asked if he will be revisiting the markets at some point in December, he told us, “No. I just bought a keyring as well, so now I’m skint until January.”
