The heir to the throne is currently standing in front of a mirror trying his hardest to look sad, Clarence House has confirmed.
Staff at the royal residence noted a distinct and sudden change in Prince Charles’ behaviour around half past midday, after he saw some breaking news on the TV.
“He sort of leapt out of his chair, rubbing his hands together with glee, a wild glint in his eyes, a grin spreading across his face, and unfortunately visibly semi-tumescent,” one royal butler, Simon Williams, told us.
“Then he suddenly stopped mid-stride towards the whisky decanter as if pausing to consider something.”
He went on, “His Royal Highness then walked over to a mirror and with considerable effort managed to wipe the huge silly grin off his face, and has spent the last half an hour pulling a number of different expressions at himself.
“It appears that he’s trying to look sombre, sad, and statesmanlike, but to be honest at the moment it looks more like the kind of grimace that you’d normally associate with trapped wind.”
He added, “Of course, Camilla letting off party poppers and opening champagne in the same room is proving to be a bit of a distraction.”
According to sources at Balmoral, Her Majesty has been advised to rest after the terrible shock of having to spend time with both Boris Johnson and Liz Truss within a couple of hours of each other.