Wednesday 25 May 2022 by Mark Molloy

‘You can break the law as long as your house is really big’ insists Boris Johnson


Boris and Carrie outside Downing Street

Boris Johnson has defended the multiple instances of law breaking at Downing Street today by insisting that his house is really big, which means it’s okay to break the law. 

With the findings of Sue Gray’s report finally released this afternoon, showing widespread partying and law breaking at Number 10 throughout lockdown, Boris Johnson has immediately moved to defend himself by pointing out that Downing Street is actually quite big on the inside, so there was nothing he could really do to prevent it happening. 

Speaking earlier he told us, “It’s even got a downstairs toilet.

“Look, my house is really big, so you’ve got to expect a little bit of law breaking going on throughout the whole of lockdown because you know, it’s really big.

“And because it’s really big, I didn’t have a clue what was going on, despite being pictured in the room drinking during at least one of the events.

“I think it’s too much to ask to expect everyone to follow the law in such a big house and therefore everyone involved, especially the leaders and people in charge should be exonerated completely. 

“Because it’s so big you see. It even has a garden where you can enjoy a few bottles of wine in the sunshine.”

Asked if he feels that people in all other large buildings such as hospitals and schools should be allowed to break the law we were told, “No they need to be fined, obviously.”

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