Aside from all the crimes, Boris hasn’t committed any crimes, insist Tory MPs

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Tory MPs have rallied behind Prime Minister Boris Johnson claiming that, if you set aside all the crimes he committed, he hasn’t committed any crimes.

“The problem here is that the media and the Westminster bubble is focused on Boris’s crimes,” said 109-year-old Sir Simon Cholmondeley Williams, MP for Buttocks-under-the-Water.

“But, if you read the Sue Gray report, it’s clear that, setting aside those crimes that Boris and everyone committed, there were no crimes committed. So, it’s time to put all this nonsense behind us.

“There has been a lot of police time and money spent on this episode, and indeed a lot of civil service time, and what, after six months and hundreds of thousands of pounds, have they found? Aside from a couple of hundred crimes, absolutely no crimes whatsoever.

“The whole thing is a disgrace.”

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Eleanor Gay is a simpleton on Twitter.

She explained, “I’m sick of this, why do the biased MSM always have to try and spin it so that it looks like Boris was really bad.

“If you chose to ignore him breaking the law, which a lot of us want to do, then, actually, he hasn’t broken the law at all. But the media will never admit that because they just want to bring down a Prime Minister just because he did some crimes.”

The Tories have also claimed that aside from all the people who died during the Covid outbreak, hardly anyone died, and if you ignore the fact that inflation is going up, you’ll see it is actually going down.

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