Government announces new windfall tax to cover the cost of investigating Downing Street staff

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The government is to finally introduce a new windfall tax on energy companies it is revealed today, to cover the massive cost of police investigations into law-breaking by Downing Street staff.

With ‘partygate’ investigations finally coming to an end this week, along with further investigations now underway into a Tory MP for rape, a new windfall tax has been immediately introduced by the government to try to cover the huge cost of investigating their crimes.

A spokesperson for the government confirmed, “We might have to raise income tax too if anything else comes out.

“We have faced a number of financial challenges this year with rising costs of policing due to an unprecedented number of crimes being committed, mainly at Downing Street.

“That’s why we have no option but to put in place a new windfall tax on energy companies, or maybe some other large companies that are not part owned by Tory donors, in order to cover the costs.

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“Obviously there are many more hidden crimes and misdemeanours within Downing Street which could well come to light, incurring further costs, so we cannot rule out more tax rises in order to investigate our staff.

“But with a bit of luck most of what we do will continue to go un-noticed or get brushed under the carpet whilst we continue to point at the war, or Brexit.

“Like the other five parties Boris attended but somehow didn’t get fined for.”

The Cabinet of Arseholes!

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