Friday 20 May 2022 by Neil Tollfree

Report: Everyone still f**king furious


Everyone still fucking furious

Following an extensive study that included interviews, surveys and examination of social media it has been possible to conclude that everyone is still absolutely f**king furious.

There are a wide variety of things that seem to make people so angry, including having to get up to go to work, the price of a pint, being governed by a lazy, fat, incompetent, corrupt shitbag, the number of repeats on telly, the paucity of quality young cricketers coming through, and impending nuclear war.

However, the number one reason for people’s fury appears to be other people.

“Other people? Well, they’re just really annoying, aren’t they?” Explained Simon Williams, a chartered surveyor and part-time assassin from Chelmsford.

“I mean, they look weird, they walk really slowly in front of you when you’re trying to get somewhere, they talk too loudly, they’re probably a bit racist, and they just get on my nerves. Dicks.”

It first became clear that everyone was completely f**king furious in 2016. Around the Brexit campaign. People who liked the EU were furious at other people for not liking the EU and people who didn’t like the EU were furious at people who thought the EU was basically fine.

That fury continued and translate to people who liked/didn’t like Jeremy Corbyn, Theresa May, the final series of Game of Thrones, Billie Eilish, fidget spinners, not dying of Covid, and cycle lanes.

It is expected that everyone will continue to be absolutely f**king furious until other people sort themselves out and stop being such a bunch of utter pricks.

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