Saturday 16 April 2022 by Mark Molloy

Man grateful as wife treating him to lie in stays moderately quiet for a full four minutes


MAn tired in bed

A man was extremely grateful this morning after his wife who was treating him to a massive weekend lie in managed to stay a little bit quiet downstairs for a full four minutes. 

Simon Williams, who allowed his wife a two hour lie in yesterday when he got up with the kids, revealed his gratitude earlier after waking up with a start because he thought that someone was being murdered whilst playing the fucking drums. 

Speaking earlier he told us, “It’s double what she normally gives me to be fair.

“What a bloody great lie in, I got well over four minutes before my wife started banging and crashing about on purpose just to ensure that I’m awake.

“We normally let each other have a good lie in from time to time whilst the other one gets up with the kids.

“Obviously when I get up early I’m like a stealth ninja creeping around the place like a mouse to make sure I don’t wake her.

“And when its my turn to sleep in I get two or three minutes of relative quiet before the whole house becomes like a fucking war zone.

“However, thankfully today I got a really long lie in before I heard any noise and had to jump out of bed it was great.”

Asked how long exactly he got for his lie in we were told, “Four minutes and seventeen seconds “

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