Friday 11 February 2022 by Mark Molloy

Second child proves absolutely useless after failing to attend ‘baby sensory’ or yoga classes


Dad reading books to children

A couple’s second child has proven absolutely useless compared to their firstborn, after never once attending any baby sensory classes or any baby yoga as a toddler.

Simon Williams, whose second child has also never been to baby Sing and Sign or even Baby Bloom, revealed how shit his second child was earlier today after admitting he couldn’t be arsed to take them to all that shite again because the novelty had definitely worn off after spending hours sat through them with their first child.

Speaking earlier he revealed “Yeah we did everything with the first one, seriously, fucking everything.

“Baby sensory, baby yoga, baby swimming, baby sing and sign..  Anything. If it had the word baby if front of it, and you had to pay money for it, we did it.

“I mean it’s all absolutely essential for your baby’s development, obviously. And it really shapes their future both physically and mentally by attending baby sensory at 12 weeks old.

“It also assists in their cognitive understanding of the world, and helps them to grow emotionally and build better relationships throughout their life, by sitting in a circle playing with coloured tissues at 3 and a half months old.

“Unfortunately, it’s boring as fuck and costs quite a lot of money, so I didn’t bother with the second one, because frankly, who cares about their second child really?”

Asked if there is any difference whatsoever in the children now that they have grown up he told us, “Yeah, second one is pretty useless. Can’t do a thing. Undoubtedly because he missed those weeks at baby sensory when he was 12 weeks old.”

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