Friday 11 February 2022 by James Chapman

Kanye West refusing to come out of ball pit


Kanye West refusing to come out of a ball pit

Ye, also known as grown adult man Kanye West, has stormed into a little girl’s birthday party and taken residence in the ball pit, which he is now refusing to leave.

When questioned as to why he had done this, West responded, “Look, this ain’t about me. Laura knows what she did. That corner piece of cake? That was for my boy Stevey. He was gonna share it with me. And now he gets a piece from the middle? Without even a frosted flower on it? Get the fuck out of here with that shit.

“Again, this is not about me. But I am not coming out of this ball pit until Laura apologises to Stevey, to me, and I get double party bags.

“And a balloon.”

Kayne West, an artist so humble he is also known as Yeesus, has quite the history of bursting into female-celebrating spaces to not make things about him, most recently at a Spelling-Bee where he tore the crown from winner Gemma Kirstens.

Kanye then ‘openly wept and screamed’ after being told that ‘magnificent’ was not spelled with a ‘z’ and also that he was not allowed to participate as he is, in fact, a grown-ass man.

Six-year-old Laura, whose birthday party West is currently crashing, responded, “I don’t know who that man is, but he can have some more cake. I don’t mind.

“He looks so sad in the ball pit that I will give him three party bags and TWO balloons. Perhaps that will give him a brief respite from his crushing insecurities. The poor lost man.

“But I ain’t apologising for shit, though.”

Previous post:

Next post: