Following yet another scandal highlighting a “banter” culture of casual racism and sexual violence, the Metropolitan Police has launched an outreach initiative based on a metaverse mascot called constable Ray P Copper and his female counterpart, WPC Vera Reiscyst.
Heading the project, DCI Simon Williams, affectionally known to his squad as “a sexual predator who hates minorities”, said that he hoped the mascots showed that the Met had learned the lessons from a couple of years of consecutive scandals.
“We know that the public is distrustful of us following reports of cops being heinously racist and misogynistic on WhatsApp, not to mention the actual rape and murder of someone by a serving officer and the way we beat the shit out of those women holding a vigil to his victim. We also know that rebuilding trust takes time so we are trying to engage youngsters with cool videos.
“We’ve already made a couple of episodes. Like The Adventure Of The Misunderstood Joke where some kids in the park hilariously misinterpret Vera’s use of rap slang but come to realise it was just quite funny after a couple of nights in a holding cell where the heating stopped working.
“Or there’s I Can Make This Go Away If You’re Nice To Me, that humanises police officers and their relationships.”
DCI Williams also explained the mascots would also be used at Hendon Police Academy.
“We hope to inject a bit of fun in the training role-plays, like Ray and Vera show everyone how to use Telegram when sharing funny pics of murder victims. Or demonstrating how talking to outsiders about internal problems is a great way to begin a very long career safeguarding an evidence locker in South Croydon.”