Following the protest withdrawal of his catalogue by legendary artist Neil Young over Spotify’s contract with notorious sharer of anti-vax misinformation, Joe Rogan, the streaming service has finally given in to public outcry after it was warned that listeners might no longer listen to Cheeky Flamenco.
Simon Williams, taxicab driver and tour manager for the Romanian twin singers, said that Gabriela and Monica Irimia had personally ordered him to tell Spotify it had to stop spreading disinformation via the Joe Rogan podcast or they would pull any songs about touching cheeky bums.
He told us, “I’ll admit I wasn’t really up for it. Removing their content from Spotify could kill off a revenue stream of dozens of pounds a year.
“But, in a time of pandemic we can no longer afford to indulge the dangerous propaganda of violence junkies who think getting zinc enemas while smoking a bong qualifies them to talk about epidemiology.
“So we removed Hooray Hooray, It’s A Cheeky Holiday as a warning, and Spotify quickly caved in. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got an airport run to do before picking up the girls for a concert at the Fox and Hounds in Maidenhead. Show business never sleeps!”
It was also rumoured that the Cheeky Girls were not alone in their stance, and that other musical titans such McFly, Rednex, Bewitched and Dr Alban were willing to follow suit.
Industry experts believe Spotify would not have been able to compensate for these losses with new material from Right Said Fred, but also that their executives are not the kind of sociopathic shits that would happily endanger actual human lives for a slight improvement in their market share.