Downing Street’s 2021 Christmas Party cancelled just days before previous one ends

author avatar by 12 months ago

Number 10’s 2021 Christmas Party has been sensationally cancelled just days before the conclusion of last year’s.

A spokesman made the announcement to journalists, whilst the sound of music and Jacob Rees-Mogg’s laughter could be clearly heard in the background.

Official Number 10 Christmas Party 2021 spokesperson, Allegra Williams, wearing a torn yellow paper hat and blowing a party whistle, blubbed, “It ish with no geg-rets whatshoever that we cancel this year’s Christmas party, because we are just like you lot – the plebs! Just remember that come the next election, whatever we say and however we behave.”

At that point, Dominic Raab, staggered in and hugged her saying “I fucking love you, mate! I used to be (hic) bloody Foreign Secretary and now (hic) (burp) fuckin’ Justice?! I mean, where’s the justice? Oh, he’s here!”, before falling over and snoring loudly.

Ms Williams continued, “This is not a new party. This is all last year’s party. Which, of course, never happened.

“This year, the Conservative Par– erm political establishment will refrain from celebrations of any kind, much as Labour have managed for many years now. Many, many, many years.

“I must now return to last year’s non-Party.”