Fifa to investigate racial abuse by international fans before doing f*ck all about it (again)

Fifa is to investigate racial abuse suffered by a number of England’s black players during their World Cup qualifying match in Hungary last night, before doing absolutely fuck all about it again.

With fans clearly throwing missiles and making monkey noises towards some of England’s players both before and during the game, Football’s world governing body has confirmed today that a thorough investigation will immediately take place, with nothing whatsoever happening after it.

A spokesperson for Fifa confirmed, “We will definitely be investigating this matter in full, but doing nothing about it, obviously.

“Fifa does not tolerate any form of racism, violence or discrimination in football and this sort of behaviour will not be condoned.

“That’s why we will do fuck all about it, once we have concluded our enquiries and generally just hope it all blows over and carry on as we are.

“Nobody wants to see or hear this disgusting behaviour, and we can assure the world of football that this kind of thing will not be allowed to happen again for at least a couple of days or so.”

Asked if any action will be taken at all for last night’s behaviour we were told,“Oh yes, definitely. Probably a fine or something I suppose, maybe €25.”

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