Tuesday 27 July 2021 by Dan Sweryt

UK hits highest rate of Covid app deletion since pandemic began


man deletes NHS test and trace app

Yesterday saw the highest daily rate of NHS Test and Trace Covid app deletion since the pandemic began.

Usual virtue-signaller and obsessive mask wearer, Simon Williams, said, “I’m going on holiday to the Lake District in 11 days, and I don’t want to get pinged at the last minute, nor face a possible fine, so the obvious thing to do is just delete the app, right?

“That way, I definitely won’t have Covid when I’m on my holidays, as everyone knows it’s impossible to catch a deadly disease whilst on vacation.

“Anyway, it’s all fixed, isn’t it? I mean, why would the government lift all the restrictions unless it was perfectly safe? It’s not like they don’t give a flying fuck about anyone, is it?”

Chief Medical Officer, Chris ‘Next Slide Please’ Whitty, said, “As we know, if you go somewhere at 9am, and someone with Covid comes in near midnight, you’ll get pinged and ordered to isolate for 10 days, even if you’re fully vaccinated.

“It’s important we don’t overwhelm the policymakers by asking them to make reasonable decisions.”

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