Tuesday 13 July 2021 by Pete Redfern

Someone must have hacked my voice when I said fans should boo players taking the knee, insists Priti Patel


Priti Patel

Home Secretary and dreadful human being Priti Patel is today claiming that when she verbally opposed taking the knee and decried the Black Lives Matter movement as ‘dreadful’, it was the result of someone hacking her mouth.

In the run-up to the Euros tournament, the Home Secretary appeared on GB News in front of all thirteen of their viewers and denounced the England players taking the knee before matches as ‘gesture politics’, before going on to say that fans had every right to boo them when they did it.

“This isn’t me backpedalling on stoking the fires of racial hatred, because I never said all those things in the first place,” she told the press today.

“Well, I DID, and the footage is there online to prove it, but it wasn’t actually me – someone must have hacked my body, voice and smirk and said all those things without my permission.

“Similarly, back in February when I went on LBC radio and said that the Black Lives Matter protests of 2020 were ‘dreadful’, I had obviously been hacked during that interview, too.”

Conservative Party spokesperson Sir Simon Williamsby-Toffer told us, “We have launched a full investigation into who may have hacked Ms Patel, and we will be publishing the findings sometime next century.

“We also intend to get to the bottom of who is in control of her when she jumps up and down clapping her hands at any news of a migrant boat sinking in the channel.”

I survived working for Priti Patel – get the T-shirt!

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