Everyone in the country is undertaking a foul-mouthed tirade trying to retrieve the fan from the back of the garage where they dumped it last year believing they would never need it ever again.
Simon Williams, screamed, “For fuck’s sake, what IS all this stuff in the way??!
“Single-use tools, Christmas decorations, boxes of DVDs rendered useless by streaming services, packing creates of old stuff that hasn’t been opened since my parents moved house in the 90s.
“More pertinently, HOW the bollocking bastard did all that get in front of the fan I used only last year?!
“It’s as though I just threw it in here the day I was forced to turn the heating back on, thinking ‘Well that’s hot weather done for the rest of my life’.
“I mean, have I never heard of Climate Change?!?!”
Mr Williams has pledged not to forget how his heating system works.