Wednesday 2 June 2021

‘Bloody foreigners, staying over there avoiding our jobs’ bemoans Wetherspoons’ Tim Martin


Tim Martin Wetherspoons

Wetherspoons boss Tim Martin has today criticised the EU for raising a load of workshy fops unwilling to come over here and pull pints for decent British patriots.

As the flag-shagging pro-Brexit boss of the pub chain bemoaned a lack of staff from the EU to help run his pubs, he fell short of blaming Brexit, and instead chose to highlight the lack of work ethic amongst those on the continent.

Polish engineering student Stanislas Symanski told us, “Is he taking the piss? I’m not allowed to come and work in his pubs, because of Brexit. It wasn’t my choice, it was yours – or more specifically, his.

“Sure, serving breakfast pints to ruddy-faced gentlemen who insist on talking about the war and how their grandad saved my great-grandad isn’t my ideal job, but a summer of that would have paid for my studies for at least a year.  I learned not to mention that my great-grandad actually flew Spitfires with the RAF, because it took the very low probability of a tip down to absolutely zero.

“But now? Well, I’m not allowed to come over there and work, am I? And whose fault is that?”

It is estimated that since Brexit, the UK economy is now short of 180,000 workers in the catering and entertainment industry, a figure many leading morons have hailed as an indication ‘Brexit is working’.

Meanwhile, British young people have been offered the chance of a lifetime to make up the shortfall by getting behind the bar of their local Wetherspoons.

21-year-old Jake Williams told us, “Pull pints in Wetherspoons and work for Worzel Gummidge? Fuck that. I’m aiming to be a social media influencer, thanks.”

See the full range of Brexit mocking merchandise HERE!

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