Thursday 13 May 2021 by Arabin Patson

Woman begins to suspect her husband not fully sincere when answering texts with a ‘thumbs-up’

woman unsure about husbands response on the phone

Simone Williams, an accountant from Luton, has become concerned that when she sends a long text to her husband, detailing some interaction she just had with a third party, the single emoji he sends as a reply might not be a true reflection of his thoughts on the matter.

Mrs Williams told reporters that she started to believe her husband Adam was simply placating her with his terse replies when she noticed that he usually answered her messages within the same amount of time.

She went on, “It struck me as odd that he would always send me a thumbs-up within a minute of him reading my messages.

“But it didn’t matter if I simply told him I had picked up the kids from Taekwondo, or that I had typed a 400-word blow-by-blow account of how I completely shut down this bitch at work who thought I wouldn’t notice her snide remarks about botox.

“I didn’t want to face the possibility that he might not go through a sympathetic emotional rollercoaster by concentrating on my words and imagining himself as a live witness to what I describe.

“Now I even wonder if he just wants to be left alone to zone out after work instead of being subjected to an hour of rehashed office gossip about people he has never met.

“I’m thinking of testing him by sending him an excruciatingly long text about my brother’s custody battle but then inserting two lines in the middle about me crashing the Polo. Just to see if he reads it thoroughly.”

At the time of writing, Adam Williams was still blissfully unaware of the utter shitstorm coming his way.

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