Saturday 8 May 2021 by Pete Redfern

Fears grow that after failing to become London mayor Laurence Fox will resume music career


Laurence Fox Music career

There is growing concern amongst the electorate that Laurence Fox could seek to punish the nation with his ‘acting’ or ‘music’ again, after narrowly missing out on becoming London mayor by only millions and millions of votes.

Fox, who is most famous for being related by birth or former marriage to legitimately successful actors, had focused his mayoral campaign on ending lockdowns, ending the wearing of masks, and increasing the number of shit hand tattoos, but failed to secure enough votes to win the race.

“This is a tricky one; it’s a lose-lose situation,” said political commentator Simon Williams, grimly.

“If he had become mayor, then we’d have liked to see the introduction of his policies such as covid positive patients being forced to cough into the mouths of infants, or a ban on the broadcast of Doctor Who episodes that feature Billie Piper.

“But now he’s not going to be mayor, we face the more terrifying threat of him returning to ITV dramas or, in the worst-case scenario that everyone is dreading, him releasing more of his so-called music.”

Turning to the camera and addressing it directly he went on, “Billie, if you’re watching this, please consider taking him back.

“He’s only one humiliating appearance on Question Time away from climbing the London Eye in a Batman costume demanding access to the kids.”

London resident and rational voter Christopher James told us, “I’m glad that Laurence Fox isn’t mayor, and I don’t really care if he goes further off the rails.

“At least if he does end up scaling a landmark in a superhero outfit he’ll be wearing a face covering, for once.”

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