Keir Starmer urged to use his forensic questioning to uncover why no-one likes Keir Starmer

author avatar by 3 years ago

Labour leader Sir Keir Starmer has been encouraged to turn his signature forensic question style to uncover the reason why the voters don’t appear to like him.

After a dreadful night in Hartlepool that can be explained in a thousand different ways depending on our opinion of Jeremy Corbyn, Starmer and his team have begun the painful process of finding out why no-one voted for them.

A Labour insider told us, “Keir is famous for a questioning style that builds up to a damning and revealing truth, perhaps one that was unlikely to be forthcoming otherwise.

“But so far he hasn’t been able to answer the question ‘why do so few voters like me?’.  His questioning hasn’t been so much ‘forensic’ as ‘snotty-cry-screaming’ on this particular subject.

“And he’s only asked the question of us, his team, here in this room – rather than, you know, the voters out there in the constituencies.  Maybe it’s something to do with that old adage about lawyers not asking questions to which they don’t know the answer?

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“Either way, we just don’t know why a QC knight of the realm isn’t cutting through with working-class voters.  But, if anyone can get to the bottom of this mystery, it’s Keir and his forensic questioning.

“And if he can’t, I guess we’ll just be doomed to another four years of terrible election results, which is, after all, the Labour way these days.”