Middle-class Marxists at a complete loss why repeatedly lecturing working-class voters isn’t working

Latte-supping internet Marxists are at a complete loss to explain why incessantly lecturing people how they’re just not good enough has failed to break through with working-class northern voters, according to reports this morning.

“Look,” said Chad Martin, a 27-year-old social studies app developer and Labour activist from Clerkenwell.

“I’m clearly very much nicer and cleverer than other people so obviously it’s vital to make every tiny issue a matter of enormous moral importance and lecture people about it until they agree.

“But after all that effort I put in telling them why they’re thick and evil, why didn’t the poor northerners vote Labour? That’s what doesn’t make sense to me. They desperately need the leadership of people like me.

“They’ve had plenty of options – getting called stupid whilst being told to vote for Jeremy Corbyn and getting called stupid whilst being told to vote for Kier Starmer – I can’t think of anything else we might try.”

Online socialists have pledged to redouble their efforts to achieve a Labour government in 2025 by being just downright better than everyone else until voters agree and do as they’re told.

Hartlepool voter Daz Williams said, “I get up every day to do a job I hate and pays fuck all, and then some wanker on the Internet says I’m just not moral and good enough because I’d rather not have my street name changed from Napier Grove to Stompie Moeketski Boulevard and that apparently my General Belgrano model in the window is racist.

“Like any normal person I hate the Tories, but you people are just cunts.”

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