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Snow White has been found dead in a castle today after refusing to sign a consent form allowing Prince Charming to bring her back to life with a kiss.
The rotting corpse of Ms White was discovered earlier today by a number of dwarves alongside a hastily prepared form of consent, unsigned by the princess and a sobbing Prince Charming, who was arrested by authorities shortly after on suspicion of manslaughter.
Describing the scene, officer Simon Williams told us, “It’s a tragedy, and what makes it worse is that it could have easily been avoided.
“Our enquiries have led us to believe that Snow White could indeed have been saved, by a kiss from Prince Charming, her true love, which would have woken her from her sleep and no doubt saved her life.
“But he needed written consent, obviously, as she was fast asleep – but she just refused to sign, mainly because she was under spell and unable to wake up.
“A real Catch-22 situation we had here. If the Prince would have given her a little peck on the lips, in order to save her life, it’s sexual assault right there, and he wasn’t prepared to take the risk without some form of written consent, and rightly so.
“So he had to just sit there for a few days watching her gradually deteriorate, mainly due to dehydration and to ultimately die a horrible and unnecessary death. Bad times.”
Asked if he feels the Prince made the right decision, to sit and watch the princess die we were told, “That’s for a jury to decide.”
