New Donald Trump ‘communications’ platform just shouting

author avatar by 3 years ago

Ex-President and Current-Bozo Donald Trump’s much-touted new ‘communications’ platform has finally been unveiled and, as expected, is just shouting.

Mr Trump explained how the new platform would work.

“To begin with, I will open my mouth,” he explained.

“Then, using the various things in my throat and chest, I will make noises, and then using my voice I will make those noises loud. Very loud, in fact, they will be some of the very loudest noises that anyone has made.”

The new platform would allow Mr Trump to communicate without fear of censorship.

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“By making the noises very loudly, many people will hear. A great many people. More people will hear me than will hear Joe Biden, because I will be louder. That is the purpose of my new platform.”

Mr Trump will use his new platform to communicate directly to any supporters who are quite nearby about a variety of issues including how he’s best, how he’s got the best hair, how he can play golf really well, how he’s great at grabbing pussies, how you can’t say anything these days, how all music just sounds the same and doesn’t even have a beat any more and how all Mexicans are rapists.

‘Donald Trump shouting’ will go online immediately and will be available every day until his voice starts to hurt.

Supporters are encouraged to donate $100 per month to help maintain the new platform, and the really stupid ones will be asked for $200.

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