Tuesday 4 May 2021 by Mark Molloy

‘You should holiday at home’ says government, on wettest, windiest shittest day of the year


Raining and wind

The government confirmed yesterday that people should try to avoid foreign holidays and take their holidays at home, doing so on the wettest shittest day of the year.

With travel restrictions due to be eased this month to allow people to travel abroad, senior MP’s have today urged the public today to consider staying at home for the summer, to enjoy lovely days like yesterday.

A spokesperson for the government revealed, “Who needs foreign holidays anyway? This is where it’s at!

“People should think twice about taking their holidays abroad, and look to stay here in the UK instead, in the pissing rain getting blown around at a shit seaside resort left to go to ruin for the last 30 years.

“Everyone knows that the UK is a great place to holiday, and you can really plan in advance, providing your plans include rain, and wind.

“Obviously the prices might be a little higher due to every single fucker in the country trying to book a tiny caravan that’s a three-mile walk from the nearest beach.

“But overall we are confident that staying at home in the UK is actually the best thing to do.

“Well, if you like shit weather. We can’t stress that enough”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: