Morrissey, a pasty racist famous for milking his few years as a vocalist for legendary songwriter Johnny Marr, has roundly condemned the hit animation show The Simpsons after an episode satirised him as able to have some vague concern for another human being.
Simone Williams, PR spokesperson for Morrissey until she saves enough to open her own cupcake business, explained that her client was deeply offended after the long-running TV show “completely disregarded his consistent record as a misanthropic egomaniac”.
She sighed loudly and went on, “It’s an outrage that these so-called satirists painted Morrissey as someone who would have a relationship based on mutual affection with someone else.
“From his earliest days as a miserabilist poseur through to his latest incarnation as someone who managed to blend racism and veganism into a higher form of cuntery, Morrissey has never once shown he gives a toss about anyone else but himself.
“Whether he was pretentiously claiming that no one was sensitive enough to understand his angst, or he was denigrating millions of people based solely on their ethnicity, he has always made it crystal clear that if the whole world died in a fire, he’d have a falafel and a wank.
“True comics like SNL or those clever people at NewsThump know how to lampoon Morrissey which is to highlight that he has always been a wanker, but that misguided nostalgia kept some fans loyal even when it became obvious he was the worst kind of angry bigot.”
Ms Williams also added that her boss insisted the Simpsons portrayal was somehow racist.
“No. I don’t know why. It just is, okay?”