Tuesday 20 April 2021 by Lucas Wilde

Employer grudgingly flicks through overly-keen candidate’s National Record of Achievement


Interview with record of achievement

Some lunatic has actually brought their National Record of Achievement to a job interview.

Simon Williams, 31, applied for the position of Office Administrator at Bastard and Sons and was there an hour early, with his hair slicked back and his suit pressed to perfection.

“And of course I couldn’t forget THIS,” said Simon, proudly brandishing a red leather folder.

“At school, they always said we would need this pretty much wherever we went, so I always have it with me. For occasions just like this one.

“It’s got all the stuff I might need to show I can be an Office Administrator; like my 500m swimming certificate and my Duke of Edinburgh award.

“I’m a shoe-in!” concluded Simon.

A stunned Harry Rice said “Oh. Wow… someone actually kept one…

“No it’s fine, we can have a look…I guess. I think mine is in my parents’ loft somewhere… oh right, says here you were a Patrol Leader in the Scouts… and that you’re very good with a calculator…

“…and you won third in the shotput in a 2004 school sports day… that’s definitely useful for a job which is 80% photocopying and 20% making hot drinks.”

Following the interview, Rice commented, “No.”

“He seems like a nice enough chap, but I’m genuinely concerned by the fact he’s hung onto his National Record of Achievement.

“It’s just not something normal people do.”

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