Tuesday 20 April 2021 by Mark Molloy

Bunch of greedy bastards vow to take ‘whatever action necessary’ to stop other bunch of greedy bastards


Boris on European Super League

A big bunch of greedy bastards who only look after themselves have vowed today to do whatever it takes to stop a big bunch of greedy bastards who only want to look after themselves.

With anger still raging today at the proposals for an elite group of rich people creating an unfair system of lucrative opportunity for a closed shop of already wealthy individuals, senior members of the government have vowed today to halt such disgraceful proposals, well, in football that is.

A spokesperson for the government revealed, “Yes, as you know we are all about fairness and healthy competition in every aspect of society.

“Apart from awarding lucrative NHS contracts to our friends of course, or better still our sisters. That’s kind of OK because it has nothing to do with football.

“Oh, and lobbying the government to alter legislation in order to help out a wealthy friend’s finance company. That’s fine too.

“But other than that, we will do whatever it takes stop these greedy mercenaries from basically creating a closed shop, devoid of fair competition with the sole purpose of looking after themselves.”

Asked to comment on the support pledged by the government earlier, footballer Marcus Rashford told us, “We are happy to have the government on board.

“No one better understands what the Super League is proposing than a closed shop of rich Etonians happy to watch hungry children starve.”

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