Thursday 28 January 2021 by Dan Sweryt

“Cut juries to one!” screams Judge Dredd


Judge Dredd

Judge Dredd is calling for juries to be cut from twelve members to one – him – in order to stem a grave crisis in the justice system due to coronavirus.

The Judge has been involved in a secret Tory experimental pilot of single-person justice in relatively unknown Mega-City One, since the year 2000 A.D.

Judge Dredd, 43, said, “I’ve long since believed that a 12-person jury was an unnecessary amount of people to deliver justice. Reducing this to a single person would be a much more efficient use of government funding.

“In the long term, however, it would be preferable if all the governmental units of police, jury, judge and executioner were somehow combined into single government employees.

“Obviously, with their vastly experienced knowledge of law, the current judges would be ideally placed to be employed in this manner.

“However, given they’re all 200 years old and cost far too much, I agree with the government’s proposal to give it to a conspiracy theorist teenager who can’t pass his driving test.”

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