Thursday 28 January 2021 by Lucas Wilde

Stock market panic as the wrong kind of people make money from it


Hedge fund loses money

The stock market has flown into a panic after some less experienced people managed to make it work for them.

A Reddit group of relatively inexperienced traders bought huge amounts of shares in a failing company, GameStop, in order to get one over on a multi-billion dollar hedge fund who were betting on the company to fail.

The move took the company share prices from $20 to over $300, and has nearly bankrupted said hedge fund after they lost billions with their gamble.

“This is technically legal and, more straightforwardly, just incredibly funny,” confirmed journalist, Hayley Rice.

“Betting on companies failing and people’s livelihoods disappearing is the mark of a total bastard, and today some those bastards have been thoroughly shafted.”

However, not everybody was happy.

“AAARRGGGGHHHH!” suggested market shorter and bastard, Simon Williams.

“How dare people make money from the stock market in a similar way to me, while doing me no good whatsoever!”

“This is just wrong, and it’s not MY kind of wrong, so it’s even MORE wrong!”

“These people need to be arrested. Not me though, leave me alone.”

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