Friday 22 January 2021 by Mark Molloy

Conspiracy theorists wanking themselves silly as Saga Holidays becomes first to say all passengers must be vaccinated


angry conspiracy theorist

Conspiracy theorists have been wanking themselves stupid today over the news that Saga Holidays have become the first UK travel agent to insist that all passengers must be vaccinated in order to travel.

“It’s started!” we were told within minutes of the news by prominent flat earther and keen conspiracy theorist Derek Williams from the safety of his home.

“What did I tell you? Trying to control us, we knew this was coming, we warned you last year!

“It’s obvious what’s in this ‘so-called’ vaccine, and it’s even more obvious what they want to do with us.

“They are trying to keep us indoors to keep us under control, so they can get all of our money. Simple, and you lot are falling for it like the sheeple you are.

“And then, eventually, they will let us out again, but only allow us to go to places once we have had the vaccine, to get all of our money.

“Do your research like me, on YouTube, and Facebook. Open your eyes and think for yourself until you agree with me.

“Well, I know exactly what they are up to and they won’t get me on one of their stupid cruises just so they can steal my brain, turn me into a robot which they can control and sail me off the edge of the earth, no way.”

A spokesperson for Saga confirmed, “Most of our passengers are elderly. We’d just prefer them not to die, so we’re trying to keep them safe. Sorry.”

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