Tuesday 24 November 2020 by Robin Mukherjee

Santa to clap for children on Christmas Eve instead


Santa clapping instead of delivering gifts this year

Father Christmas is set to deliver his yuletide joy to children all around the globe from his own doorstep this year, with a clap and a festive cheer at 8 pm precisely.

A spokesperson for the North Pole resident told us, “It’s been a shitter of a year and Saint Nick is still unable to get to the top of the stairs since those God awful Joe Wicks workouts back in March.

“I mean, he can’t be arsed to make a brew these days, let alone slog himself and his deer around the world in the freezing cold.

“Clapping from his front door is a perfect way to deliver that festive joy without actually having to make any real effort, or even to give a toss about those he’s clapping for.”

It is not known whether or not this decision is related to the furloughing of his elves back in March, but a source close to Santas workshop has confirmed that Mrs Clause is drawing a lovely rainbow picture to display on Santa’s front window when he claps for all the children.

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