Wednesday 29 July 2020 by Arabin Patson

Government hopes to replicate success of ‘PE With Joe’ by launching ‘Slowly Give Up Trying With Boris’


Let yourself go with Boris

As part of its new health campaign, Downing Street has announced it will create a show similar to the wildly successful workouts with muscular hulk Joe Wicks, except viewers will be watching Boris Johnson give exercise a try for a week or two before the excuses start.

Recently appointed Health Ambitions Tzar, Simon Williams, said that the daily afternoon program would be part of a comprehensive government strategy to get Brits off the sofa and perhaps see if they can do a couple of pushups and then claim their back hurts.

He explained, “The Prime Minister is keenly aware that obesity can be lethal if mixed with COVID-19.

“And so he is committed to leading the nation by demonstrating the self-discipline and restraint that has been a cornerstone of his personal history.

“Every afternoon at four, he will show a sterling example of a man resolved to do one hour of mild exercise every day.

“Well, 30 minutes at least, if it’s not raining and that old rugby injury from Eton is….well not exactly painful, but it does feel iffy and you have to be careful with joints at his age.”

Mr Williams said Boris Johnson would push through with laudable efforts through the first two weeks of August and then help the nation feel better about their laziness by quietly putting that new static bike up in the loft because the missus needs the space for her yoga.

“Boris is confident that by October, he and the nation will all be back to dipping sausage rolls in a bowl of instant gravy while watching Homes under the Hammer and telling ourselves that we’ve let ourselves go of late, but once winter comes we’ll do some of that cold-weather training.”

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