Friday 17 July 2020 by Lucas Wilde

Discarded Guitar Hero controllers now account for 37% of all plastic pollution


Guitar Hero discarded waste

Plastic video game controllers in the shape of guitars account for nearly 40% of the world’s plastic pollution, according to reports today.

The Guitar Hero series of rhythmic video games – which came with a plastic guitar that players could “strum” in time with onscreen cues- enjoyed enormous success from 2005 to 2010, at which point the series practically died out overnight and everyone hurled their plastic guitars into the sea.

“Oh yeah, those games were amazing, for a bit,” confirmed gamer, Simon Williams.

“It was amazing fun strumming along to Welcome to the Jungle, certainly far more fun than listening to the song itself.

“But, after the release of Rock Band 3, I, and indeed everybody else, had had about our fill. I still remember flinging my guitar into the Thames.”

Environmentalist, Hayley Rice, said, “Seriously, the bottom of the Atlantic looks like the wall of a knock-off Hard Rock Cafe.

“We had a killer whale come in the other day with an imitation Fender Strat sticking out its blowhole.

“In future, please dispose of your video gaming accessories in a responsible manner by taking them to a charity shop where they will sit until the end of recorded time after being priced up with a ridiculous level of optimism by someone’s nan.

“Seriously, twenty quid for Fifa 13? Come on.

“Anyway, I know the time is coming for VR headsets. Nobody is using those for more than two hours a month. Please don’t lob them in the sea, the last thing anybody wants is a bunch of seals swimming around looking like Lawnmower Man.”

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