Friday 17 July 2020 by Runi Talwar

Country that has lost 140,000 people to Coronavirus feeling reassured that President has a regular bean supplier


TRump has favourite brand of beans

Americans are reportedly feeling much better about their lives and the general state of the world today, after US President Donald Trump reassured the public on Twitter that, despite the raging pandemic which has killed 140,000 Americans and counting, there had been no disruption to his daily supply of beans.

President Trump posted a photo to Twitter last night with several products from food supplier Goya, a company that prides itself on their “authentic Mexican food that white people can eat”.

According to inside sources, Mr Trump is confident that, in this time of crisis, the nation will be grateful for his strong leadership in recommending a bean brand.

“Trump is sure that this kind of decisive, no-nonsense leadership is exactly what the country wants from him,” said one source.

“The crisis has obviously hit the country hard, with close to 140,000 Americans losing their lives to the virus. But Trump knows that, in times of crisis, there’s nothing more important to Americans than knowing which watered-down Mexican food substitute the President prefers.”

Despite some people raising concerns that the Twitter endorsement may be “a little bit illegal”, most of the American public has hailed the announcement as a turning point in the on-going battle against Covid-19.

“He’s proving again why he is exactly the President we voted for,” said one long-time Trump supporter.

“If you had asked me four years ago what I thought Trump would do in a health crisis, I would have said ‘probably tweet about some beans’.

“The fact that that’s exactly what he’s done just proves he’s the most consistent politician this country has ever had.”

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