Freddy Vachha has been announced as this week’s new leader of UKIP as a timely reminder for most people take the bins out, according to reports.
After an overwhelming vote of confidence in him by tends of party members, the new leader has promised to take the party back to its roots, and warned he did not care about the criticism his yet-to-be-revealed political positions will inevitably bring his way.
For the public, however, the arrival of a new UKIP leader has once again provided a handy reminder that tonight is the night to put the bins out for collection.
Father of two Simon Williams told us, “I can never remember what day our fortnightly bin collections are, so a crisis within UKIP’s leadership and the announcement of a new leader is always helpful to me as they always seem to coincide with bin day.
“It’s quite fitting that as I take my bin bags of old, festering rubbish out this evening, the old UKIP leader is gone, and my bags of stinking, pointless rubbish will be gone, too. I expect this new one will smell OK for a day or two, then in two weeks time they’ll be looking for a new leader, just in time to remind me about the bins.
“I honestly don’t know what I’d do without a UKIP leadership contest to remind me that bin night has come round again. It’s the only way I remember.”
Freddy Vachha’s appointment as the new leader means he is UKIP’s tenth leader in five years, confirming UK leaders are replaced only slightly more frequent than residents of Birmingham can expect their bins to be collected.